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All right, I don’t need to give you the whole Oscar story — by now everybody’s heard everything and we all know what happened. I’d like to weigh in, though …

AWESOME!

Host Hugh Jackman’s opening number. The right amount of cheese, charm, and ridiculous set pieces, the beautiful Anne Hathaway goofily playing Richard Nixon, and “The Reader, I haven’t seen The Reader” — ha ha!

Heath Ledger’s Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in The Dark Knight. I got a little emotional. I really hope he’s watching from somewhere.

Sean Penn (Best Actor) and Dustin Lance Black (Best Original Screenplay) winning big for Milk and then making rousing, heartfelt, and ass-kicking acceptance speeches.

Ben Stiller making fun of Joaquin Phoenix during his presentation with Natalie Portman. Hi-larious. “I just want to retire from being the funny guy,” he said — to which Portman replied, “You look like you work at a Hasidic meth lab.”

Kunio Kato’s acceptance speech after winning the award for Animated Feature (La Maison en petits cubes): he ended with “Domo arigato, Mr Roboto”. Way to perpetuate stereotypes, I guess … but it was mightily funny.

Viola Davis. She was absolutely gorgeous.

Hugh Jackman, again: classic tuxedo, charming host, damn is he handsome.

NOT AWESOME!

Sophia Loren looking rather unfortunate and making an incredibly awkward presentation speech to Best Supporting Actress nominee Meryl Streep. Yikes. That makeup … a little too zombie for my tastes.

The man-sized bow spilling off of Jessica Biel’s dress. Honestly, I don’t understand high fashion at the best of times, but I can’t figure out why that would ever be a good idea.

Beyoncé lip-synching during her performance with Jackman during the musical medley. What’s up, Miss Knowles? That was disappointing, especially since Hugh was singing superbly well while doing his rather strenuous dance moves.

Speaking of which, that whole musical medley was just not good. Thanks, Baz Luhrmann — you managed to make that thing interminable and full of really awkward “transitions”, which were really just abrupt cuts between songs. That could’ve been better.

Jennifer Aniston’s really awkward presentation speech … made even more awkward for us, the TV-watching audience, when the camera cut to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the middle of it.

The technical flubs: the voice of the stage director hissing “open the curtain!” at one point when the video started playing behind it, or the crew starting the Best Director clip too early and surprising presenter Reese Witherspoon. I guess it can’t be a live broadcast without a few muck-ups here and there.

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How long until next year’s?

Tags: academy awards, anne hathaway, baz luhrmann, ben stiller, beyonce, heath ledger, hugh jackman, oscars, sean penn