vintage

Don’t worry, I’m plotting a triumphant return to the blogosphere in the form of a new location for this thing. It will be a little while coming, but worth it (I hope).

In the meantime, Alex Ross has a new book out and you should read it! It is called Listen to This and is a collection of essays, many of which were published in The New Yorker in some form or another. It’s as well-written as one might expect, seeing as it’s from the author of one of the best books about 20th century music possibly ever.

Grammatically curious sentences notwithstanding (sorry about that last one) there will be some good stuff happening here soon, so stay tuned.

I assure you, you are not hallucinating.

Well, ladies and gentlefolk, it’s certainly been a while. I could make up tales of all of the fabulous things I’ve been doing while away from here, but you’ll surely have noticed that the period of my absence roughly coincides with that period of time commonly known as a “Semester”. I’ll let you dream up your own yarns of bloodshed and last-minute papers as you like.

I also haven’t really done any end-of-year lists, which is Total Blasphemy in the world of blogging (especially music-related) but them’s the breaks, I guess. I’ll have the lite versions around in the next little while in case any of you still feel like reading them after the barrage of lists that was this past December.

While we’re here, I might as well tell you what I’ve been up to.

What I’ve Been Up To

I’ll be honest: most of this category, at least most of what isn’t directly school-related, consists of reading Thomas Pynchon. For those unacquainted with his work, he’s fairly notorious for his dense and difficult-to-read prose, and for being a serious recluse (the first time anybody who wasn’t in his inner circle heard his voice was, bizarrely, on an episode of The Simpsons; in marvelous Simpsons fashion, he is depicted wearing a bag over his head. Check out that Long Island accent!). And particularly for frustrating English majors everywhere with postmodernist yarns like V. and Gravity’s Rainbow, the latter usually prompting people to throw the book across the room. Many of my friends have done that very thing.

Anyway, I naively started reading Against the Day as my introduction to Pynchon, which was a severely misinformed decision. It’s over 1000 pages (the Vintage UK edition, which I have, is just over 1200) and is just chock-full of things. Characters. Plotlines. Time periods. References to older novels (which I didn’t, at the time, get). I read the first 200 pages, read them again, and then read them a third time. I nearly pitched it out of the window.

The problem with Pynchon, for a first-time reader — and later, the glory of him — is that he systematically destroys any kind of expectation you might have for reading a novel. Nothing is linear. Characters don’t get fleshed out the conventional way. Endings are not endings. Narratives don’t move the way you want them to. Novel readers are conservative in that we expect conflict, resolution, characters, conclusion; Pynchon reminds us that we’re not going to get that.

1000 pages of in-your-face post-structuralism is not, however, the way to start learning that lesson. So I stopped.

Instead, I picked up the shortest of his novels — The Crying of Lot 49. Most hardcore Pynchon fans look down their noses at this one, because it’s not as involved as his other works; it does, however, contain all the things that characterize it as Pynchon, and it’s one hell of a novel. It moves a bit more conventionally than I had expected, which makes it a much better introduction (and, I’ll admit, the last chapter — particularly the final sentence — made me yell, out loud, and almost throw the book at the wall anyway in a mixture of frustration and glee). We are given tantalizing hints as to what Lot 49 might be, exactly, and they are all typically Pynchonian red herrings; we’re not told until the final three or four pages. And then, of course, the names. The names! Oedipa Maas, Pierce Inverarity, Mike Fallopian (really). The crowning glory is probably Genghis Cohen. It only gets better from here on out.

I can’t say I’m great at literary criticism, but I know enough to say this: Pynchon is brilliant. I still don’t really understand him, but that’s part of the appeal: everything isn’t immediately obvious, which means you actually feel compelled to re-read. And get the companion readers (J. Kerry Grant, thank you for helping me navigate V.). And read all the essays. And and and.

One thing’s for sure: if you decide to embark on a quest to read one of these novels, don’t rush it. Buy a copy — you’ll be renewing it at the library an infuriating number of times — and read as slowly as possible. I’ve finally learned that lesson and I’ll probably be reading V. for another month, but it’ll be a glorious one. His prose is sometimes dense enough to chew on, and it’s all worth it.

I think, though, that it will soon be time for some lighter reading. At least a novel that doesn’t require a book of annotations and a character notebook alongside it. I’m longing for simpler times.

Because I like doing ridiculous things with absolutely no point to them (except maybe self-torture, by the end), I’ve taken a dare from my roommate to listen to the Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense once a day until I can’t do it anymore. It’s been four days so far. With most other albums I’d already be sick of the whole adventure, but this one’s holding up spectacularly. It helps that it’s only 9 songs long* and one of the best live recordings ever.

Continuing on that theme, here’s the video of “Life During Wartime” from Stop Making Sense. David Byrne is one of the most awesome people on this planet.

* I’m listening to the LP version, which is five songs on one side and four on the other. There’s a few different releases, and one of the CD versions has sixteen songs on it .. but I’m just sticking with the recording I had on when this whole thing started.

There’s no Tunesday today, and there probably won’t be for a couple of weeks — I don’t want to just toss a song online without actually having a reason and writing a reasonably good post about it. I’m in the crunch period of school: you might remember that nasty strike that hit York University this year, and it’s because of that strike that my semester has been extended. Everyone else is finished school but I’m just getting into the final papers. And boy, am I getting into them.

I have five papers to write in the next three weeks, so I don’t know that I’ll have too many words left over at the end of the day. Things are going to be a bit slow around here. I’ll try to post whenever I can, but just a heads-up that it will probably be a bit boring until I get these giant things out of the way.

In the meantime, Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs begins Thursday! Man those televisions!

Well, about two months ago my good pal Barbara at Bad Tempered Zombie sent me a list of interview questions, which I promptly forgot about. (My apologies.) Now that I’ve dug them up again, I guess I’ll take a crack at telling the Internet something about the brain behind the blog. Results may vary.

1. Which language would you like to speak fluently?

Well, I’d like to be fluent in French, but I’m almost there — it’s been a few years since I really used it, but I was close to that level when I graduated from high school, so I’m sure I could get there pretty easily. I do kind of want to learn a language that would be ridiculous coming from me, like Czech or Swedish or something. Maybe German.

One time I took a crack at learning Klingon in high school. It’s a functioning language! I guess I could probably do it, but then I’d just get beat up every time I stepped outside.

In all seriousness, though, I am good at picking up languages — grammatical quirks, structure, and all that sort of thing — so I kind of just want to learn as many as possible. They are fascinating. I am also fascinated with accents, which I would like to learn many of and then speak in a different one at work every night. Consider yourselves warned.

2. If you got a tattoo, what would you get and where would you put it?

Whenever someone gets a tattoo, all I can picture is saggy and wrinkly octogenarian skin with the distorted shape of the tattoo on it. Seriously, unless it’s going to look totally awesome no matter how badly I age, I don’t want it! Plus, you know, needles. And getting ink stuck under your skin. Yeah, I don’t think so.

3. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

I don’t know if there’s one particular thing that stands out, but one of the most difficult to adjust to was shaving my head for cancer in Grade 10. You’d be surprised how terrifying it is to suddenly not have any hair — I couldn’t have cared much less about people mistaking me for a boy (it was pretty hilarious), but I was quite amazed at how much of a difference it makes. It really is like you have nothing to hide behind, and not just because you get weird looks from people, or the occasional whisperings of acquaintances wondering if you’re dying.

I credit this experience with giving me most of the confidence I have now. When you’re a perfectly healthy but bald fifteen-year-old girl, you have to be able to present yourself the way you want to, because people are going to assume all kinds of incorrect things — like you’re stubborn and rebellious, or you’re extra butch, or you’re halfway to dead. Luckily, I am none of those things.

I also went to a job interview with an inch of hair and army pants on, and somehow I got hired. I spent five years at the Stampede, including the final one as a supervisor. I like to tell that story because it means I successfully proved that my appearance didn’t match my interview, in a good way, and here I am now. Girls, if you can do it, shave your head. It is scary as anything — especially when they first turn on the razor, oh man — but it’s worth it for so many reasons, including the amount of money people will help you raise when you do it.

4. What do you think is the ideal age?

This is a loaded question! The ideal age I’d like to stay at? The ideal age to date? I don’t know if there’s an answer for any of these things … I’ve only been 20 for a month but it’s okay so far. 19 was good too. Five was probably pretty fun. Man, I can’t handle this question. Comment and discuss.

5. If you could have any view from your back porch, what would it be?

You can take the girl out of Alberta, but you can’t take the Alberta out of the girl — there’s something about the Canadian Rockies that I always miss and that I love getting back to. That’s Lake Louise, for the uninitiated — you know, “the cool, cool breeze”. It’s just as beautiful in the winter.

Other contenders, though, are things involving oceans, rolling hills, and big cities. Yeah, the last one is kind of the odd one out, but I’m not really an outdoorsy sort of person. I really like walking and hiking and being outside, but I’m not a mountain climber or a skier or whatever. I’m really into cities, too — exploring all their neighbourhoods, finding the best delis and record stores and places to walk around, and just getting to know a foreign place. The best way to do it is on foot, too — so maybe I’d like to see a brownstone walkup or an urban park outside my window. A love song to downtown.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s track of the day!

So I’m 20 today (yeah, I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to the blogosphere), and so I thought I’d make a post about me. That is, I’m passing along links to some of my favourite funny videos so you can experience them too. Warning: may cause spit-takes. Protect your monitor.

Robin Williams – Bush & Obama is a hilarious video from just after the American election. He did some comedy in England for Charles & Camilla, or as he calls them, “Chuck and Cam”. It is stupid how many times I’ve watched this, but it’s amazing.

Paul McCartney making mashed potatoes. I never thought I would enjoy watching an old rock star talk to his oven mitts and slice onions.

Bob & Doug MacKenzie’s 24 Anniversary — self-explanatory. Hosers represent.

Star Wars retold by someone who hasn’t seen it is probably funniest for people who have seen the movies — sextilogy? Is there a word for a series of six? — but either way, someone trying to inform us about the finer points of a series they’ve never seen is already comedy gold.

How to write a fugue, on a theme by Britney Spears. This is especially great for musicians, but I think that anyone can appreciate the hilarity of a remarkably adept treatment of “Oops, I Did It Again” in fugal style (and the excellent editing).

Bach a cappella features one guy singing all four parts of a Bach piece — soprano too — and comically straining his voice to both extremes. His theatrically exaggerated facial expressions make this one of the funniest performances of ol’ Johann Sebastian on the internet. (He has more Bach, as well as Mahler, Puccini, and Gounod on his channel page … I recommend them all.)

Sloan loses a guitarist on tour … Jay gets lost in the woods and the rest of the band go to find him. A ridiculous video featuring such quotes as “It’s getting dark, it must be like, five-thirty or something!” or “It’s a leg. A human leg” (identified by Chris Murphy after a smell test).

And of course, Hugh Jackman on Japanese television (just after the Oscars). This is the biggest trip ever — I don’t even know what’s going on most of the time, but the exchange about balls is HILARIOUS. More clips here, if you’re still interested after that.

Real posts on their way!

I’m leaving for the midnight premiere of Watchmen in half an hour. I am pretty excited.

According to Amazon.com, the soundtrack for the film is pretty crazy — I’ve never seen one that combines Philip Glass and MCR, and I’m not sure that I want to. Here’s the full tracklisting:

1. My Chemical Romance, “Desolation Row”

2. Nat King Cole, “Unforgettable”
3. Bob Dylan, “The Times They Are A-Changin’”
4. Simon & Garfunkel, “The Sound of Silence”
5. Janis Joplin, “Me and Bobby McGee”
6. KC and the Sunshine Band, “I’m Your Boogie Man”
7. Billie Holiday, “You’re My Thrill”
8. Philip Glass, “Pruit Igoe & Prophecies”
9. Leonard Cohen, “Hallelujah”
10. Jimi Hendrix, “All Along the Watchtower”
11. Richard Wagner, “Ride of the Valkyries” (Budapest Symphony Orchestra)
12. Nina Simone, “Pirate Jenny”

Wow — what a playlist! I’ll be sure to let you know how that works out. If I can stay awake, that is … I think I’ve suddenly become ninety years old. Yikes. More to follow!

Oh hey internet. About that whole idea of “doing interesting stuff” in order to “blog about it later”? Not much of that has been going on lately. Soon, however, there will be a mammoth post-marathon recap: I am currently watching all the movies made by this guy (up 132% in popularity this week? probably all my fault). I’ll hit the halfway mark tonight, and boy howdy am I ever starting to feel it.

I’ll tell you right now that Australia stinks and Deception was actually OK. I’ve only seen two movies with Michelle Williams, counting the latter, but she was quite terrific in Brokeback Mountain and I am interested to see some more of her work.

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, but in case you haven’t, frontman Steven Page has left the Barenaked Ladies. Read the story. Bizarrely, Paul McCartney was recently quoted as saying that BNL “sing much better” than the Fab Four, and that he would consider recording with them. Now’s your chance, Macca!

Also, in case you missed the boat the first two times, the Weakerthans have added a third show here in Toronto at the Phoenix Concert Theatre on April 2, following the selling-out of the shows on March 31 and April 1. They will be joined by The Constantines and The Waking Eyes; tickets are $25 advance.

Somewhat relatedly, Sloan have beefed up their CMW roster and added another band for both of their nights at the Mod Club Theatre, March 11 and 12. Joining them for the first night will be Zeus, while the second night will kick off with Hexes & Ohs. Both nights also sport a set by Murderecords fellows Will Currie & The Country French.

That’s all I have! Come back tomorrow for a new Tunesday track. I’ll also have a review of Watchmen here on Friday; tickets for the midnight showing are sitting right next to me. Awwww, yeah.

Hello, blogosphere.

I’m sure at least one of you have noticed the lack of Tunesday post this week. Sorry about that — our internet went down for a few days and the stolen wireless was barely enough to load a page, let alone upload a track, so I decided to forego it until next week. Fortunately, the upcoming post will feature two tracks to make up for it … stay tuned!

We’re back in school at York and it seems to be leaving little time for blogging lately. Imagine that, I know. I hope posts will be appearing regularly in a week or so, once the giant paper has been written and the myriad of assignments are handed in. Sorry for the general silence!

In other news, though, Jim Cuddy played at Massey Hall last night and was terrific as usual. I only got to see about 2/3 of the show, so I’m not sure how much Blue Rodeo material he pulled out this time around, but I did witness a particularly excellent rendition of “5 Days in May” featuring a serious violin solo by Anne Lindsay. Cuddy can always be counted on for a great performance, solo or with Blue Rodeo, and he always looks like he’s having the time of his life on stage. To top it off, his voice has never been better. Highly recommended!

If you’re interested, the Toronto Star published an interview with him yesterday in anticipation of the show. Aww, Valentine’s Day.

Coming up: the double Tunesday post, Brent Randall & His Pinecones‘ new album, and an interview with yours truly. The fun never stops!

I’d like to get some things off my chest here.

The nominees for the 2009 Juno Awards were announced the other day, and with every year, CARAS adds another nail to its own coffin. It’s hard to see why the Junos are still such a big deal in Canada — their relevance seems to slip away more and more every year, and we are left honouring artists who write lyrics like this:

Dirty little lady with the pretty pink thong
Every sugar daddy hitting on her all night long
Doesn’t care about the money, she could be with anybody
Ain’t it funny how the honey wanted you all along!

[...] You’re so much cooler when you never pull it out
‘Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

That’s right. Nickelback, the ones responsible for that atrocity, led the nominations parade with five (single, album, artist and producer of the year, as well as the fan choice award). Somehow, CARAS seem to think that this motley crew is the best thing this country has to offer musically. If this is the case, I’d like to change my citizenship.

I’ll come back to that, but first, there’s another problem we need to pay attention to: the “International Album of the Year” category, this year a contest between AC/DC, Coldplay, Guns ‘N Roses, Jack Johnson, and Metallica. First of all: none of these people give a rat’s behind whether they’re nominated for a Juno Award (an award ostensibly for Canadian content, I might add). Second, why do we even need this category? Obviously, Chris Martin or Axl Rose are not going to show up to the ceremony, so it isn’t even a ploy to boost ratings. This category has been a head-scratcher for me ever since I started watching the Junos and I still haven’t been able to justify it.

If the Juno Awards really do need a category like this, they need to make it relevant to Canada. Albums that sell more than any Canadian record are not a good enough connection. We’ve got categories for best producer and recording engineer, many of whom work on albums by non-Canadian artists; this is the kind of thing that should be getting more attention, not a gratuitous presentation to an artist who will probably forget they got the award at all.

I could get into a lot more (why is there only one Francophone category? How in the hell does a throat singer get nominated for instrumental album of the year?), but I’d like to go back to the Nickelback problem for a moment.

Here it is, plain and simple: Nickelback shouldn’t be on this pedestal. Most of Canada has no idea what’s going on in most of music, and assume that when you turn on the top 40 station, that’s all there is. The only two categories that really honour Canada’s incredible artistic scene are also terribly named, almost cursory ones: Alternative and Adult Alternative albums of the year.

What is “adult alternative”? When I hear that, I think Muzak. According to the Juno nominees sheet, though, it means Hawksley Workman, Serena Ryder, Kathleen Edwards, Ron Sexsmith and Sarah Slean — all incredibly talented musicians, and ones who would probably belong in a category titled “Songwriter of the Year”. Alternative, by contrast, contains Black Mountain, Chad VanGaalen, Fucked Up, Plants and Animals, and The Stills.

I’m sure most of you are thinking the same thing: why are Nickelback, Simple Plan, Hedley, and Celine Dion all over the nominations list, and why are our most talented artists getting the boot?

The answer is, of course, record sales. Nickelback sell more albums than any of these artists, and I suppose they deserve to be rewarded for that. That really doesn’t mean they also wrote the best single that came out this year, nor that they’re the best artist Canada saw in 2008; it does mean, though, that the Juno Awards are clearly not focused enough on artistic merit. Nickelback have a lot of fans, but I find it difficult to believe that Dark Horse would hold up with every judge on the Juno Award panel when put against last year’s records by Sam Roberts, Hawksley, Sloan, Chad VanGaalen … you get my drift.

Many of the artists nominated do deserve it, and I’m glad that they’re getting the recognition. However, I think that the Juno Awards need to take a leaf from the Polaris Music Prize’s book and reward actual artistic merit, not just record sales. The best things coming out of Canada aren’t the ones you’re going to hear on Top 40 radio or the ones necessarily selling the best — because no one is bold enough to play them. Once this country realises how narrow the field they’re working with is, maybe these awards will be relevant again. Until then, we’re stuck with Chad Kroeger: an embarrassment to this country.

Juno Awards home
Complete list of nominees (PDF)
Sloan vs. Nickelback — The Battle of the Bands!